No beating around the bush for me – the news from Charlottesville tonight is great! There has been no new growth of the tumor since my last MRI (September 2018)!
To say I am thrilled would be an understatement. I am so, so happy and grateful. It’s yet another miracle in my life. I’m learning to believe in them. Really.
Here’s my story about miracles. I usually take time to prepare myself for my oncology appointments before I go to them. Often, I’ll do some reading about oligodendroglioma tumors and new treatment options. I try to read both actual studies and off-the-cuff commentary from people who are living with brain tumors and being treated for them. Both are instructive in different ways.
Anyway, this time I was reading about different kinds of chemo treatments that are used for my kind of tumor. There are a couple of different options, PCV and TMZ, and I wanted to have a little background information under my belt. I’ve heard recently that fasting before chemo treatment can both help with side effects and perhaps even sensitize the tumor to the effects of chemo.
As I was hopping from article to article, I came upon a string of comments by patients, listing out various “cocktails” of supplements and treatments (conventional and alternative) that they use to try to prevent their tumors from growing and to generally enhance their lives. You would not believe all the possibilities that are out there! Personal hyperbaric chamber, anyone? (Don’t think I’m not thinking about it:)
Anyway, I came across one person whose list included meditations by Louise L. Hay. I’d never heard of her, but for some reason I looked her up on Amazon and proceeded to purchase the audio version of her book “You Can Heal Your Life.” Apparently, it was a NY Times Bestseller at one point.
Can I just tell you that normally I would not look up a book on meditations by someone I’ve never heard of. I’m kind of a meditation snob, I’m afraid to say. There is so much stuff out there that is not wise or healthy or sound and having an illness makes me susceptible to going down rabbit holes that look promising but actually turn out to be some sort of evil rabbit’s den where the rabbit is a gangster who shakes me down, takes my money, and leaves me holding an empty plastic bag smelling faintly of carrots.
But I digress.
To make a long story short, I’ve been listening to You Can Heal Your Life and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s exactly what I need right now. It’s about positivity, about relating to the Divine, about loving and accepting yourself wholeheartedly, and learning and growing. Oh, and about healing yourself.
It also talks about taking responsibility for your thoughts and teaches how to change old patterns of thoughts into healthier ones. Honestly, in some ways it’s kind of along the lines of books like Think and Grow Rich or Jack Canfield’s Success Principles. These kinds of reads haven’t really been my cup of tea before, I guess because I’ve been under the impression that people use them to put down or blame others who haven’t been “successful” because they “haven’t taken responsibility.” Some of these books can even seem to blame people for their situations or illnesses with such notions as ‘you attract what you get,’ or ‘you manifest what you think.’
I suppose You Can Heal Your Life can be read this way. But I’m not reading it that way. I’m reading it for the good I can get out of it and it’s showing me how great it is to be positive. All day, all the time. Now, I’m generally a pretty glass-is-half-full kind of person. But I’m learning to hear when my thoughts turn negative – where I never even realized it before. I’m realizing places in my life where old hurts have turned into resentments. They’ve been there for so long they seem normal, like the furniture. But it’s old furniture that’s time to toss out.
In short, I’m realizing the great opportunities I have to change and grow – right here, right now. Now, that is a miracle.
Life is the great miracle. And I am the hero. We all are.
And I have six more months before my next MRI to enjoy the heck out of it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your love and prayers! Celebration time!!!!!