I want to tell you how very grateful I am for all your thoughts and prayers. I can’t begin to explain how much it means to me to know you are there, praying for me and thinking of me and sending me light and love and caring.
Your notes on Facebook and my blog filled my heart with hope and courage. I went into my MRI on Friday knowing – and better still, feeling – that I was not alone. I felt so supported, so accompanied. I have always had some misgivings about Facebook, about how it affects our psychology and can be used to exploit our basic human needs for affirmation and belonging. But I am not ashamed to tell you how much your comments bolstered me as I woke up, arrived at the hospital, got my IV, and went into the machine with my mask on. I felt warmly held in a web of love and friendship. You gave me strength so far beyond my own. Physically and emotionally.
For the last four and a half years since I was diagnosed I’ve been schooled in this time and time again. Still, it always amazes me. It is always a miracle. I think about what is possible when we all focus on one thing, one person, one hope, one dream. One ring to bind them…ok, no. Kidding.
But make no mistake, as the grateful subject of so many kind thoughts and prayers, mountains have moved inside of me. My heart softens. I become capable of greater compassion towards others. My whole being opens to new possibilities for learning and hoping, for understanding things previously incomprehensible to me.
When we focus our love, our care, our minds, how intimately connected we become – as if we really are together as one. What more might be possible for us – for the world – when we live such a manner of being with each other?
Tomorrow morning, we will get the results of my MRI. Today has been particularly hard for Marshall – please hold him, Hannah, and my parents in your thoughts and prayers. And hold me, too. The waiting can be tedious, emotional. It is very much a lesson in endurance. But we are shooting for the long game, yes? And for the long game, endurance is needed, is a blessing.
Please keep lifting me up for continued, total healing. I will let you know the results of the MRI as soon as I am able.