The Wheels Fell Off the Other Night.

It was a nightmare.

I just wanted to eat some grass-fed, organic cheese.  But we didn’t have any of the kind I can eat in the house: grass fed, organic, gluten-free.

I am not supposed to eat many animal based products – actually, it is debatable whether I am supposed to be eating any animal-based products at all, but this is a bridge I haven’t crossed yet during my recuperation from surgery.  The other night I just wanted some of that yummy cheese.  And we didn’t have it.

Oh, we had other cheeses – the kinds that I can’t have but anyone else in my family can decide to eat whenever they want to.  But that didn’t help me.  Marshall and Hannah started chowing down their crappy old  cheese.  But there was none for me – the person who wanted it more than anything else – and it really rankled my tail feathers.

The evening devolved from dinner into a spinning pire of curses and rants – mine.

It was pretty pathetic.  No one seemed to understand what I was trying to say.  I can’t drive.  It’s not like I can just go out and grab “my cheese” whenever I want to so I can eat it whenever I want to.  I can’t even get out of this stupid house without pre-planning the whole thing with someone else.  I have very little autonomy at all, as a matter of fact. It’s a real pain in the ass.

Okay, maybe not most days, but the other night it was a real pain in the ass.  I was so pissed.  And no matter how I tried to say it (and I used some real flamers, I’m sorry to say), no one in my family seemed to be able to understand that this had nothing to do with them or their needs or wants or abilities to eat whatever they chose – or chose not – to eat.

That night, it had everything to do with ME – what I should or should not be eating in order to create an anti-cancer environment in my body so that I can live a longer, healthier life; whether animal products are going to be okay for me or not; just how critical is going gluten-free going to be for me and my immune system functioning?

I’m sorry, but I have no clue what the answers to these questions are.  Neither do my doctors, frankly – their first opinion was to just “eat whatever you want to eat” – don’t do anything any differently.  I’ve learned very quickly that this is utter hogwash.  What I eat matters very much in terms of how healthy – or unhealthy – the rest of my days will be.  There are many scientific, food-based studies that bear this out – jillions of them.  Do I have time to read and process them all?  No.

So what am I going to do?

Two days before my surgery (which was two weeks ago today, by the way), I met with a nutritional counselor at Nutritional Solutions, a cancer consulting, nutrition-based company in Utah.  I need to tell you how highly unusual it is for someone like me to have the opportunity to have a meeting like this prior to having surgery to remove my brain tumor.  Most people get started with nutrition as it relates to cancer much later in the diagnostic process, so I count myself very lucky.

As a result of my counseling session, I was able to get nutritional supplements ordered so I could begin them as soon as I arrived back home from my surgery.  I want to be clear that these are NOT “alternative” treatments for cancer, but are very scientifically-based, well-researched aides for creating an anti-inflammatory mileau inside of my body to prevent my cancer from coming back.

I’ve been on these supplements – and I’ve changed my diet drastically –  thanks to you wonderful friends who have been plying me and and my family with all of the healthy foods I’ve learned about so far.  Honestly, I do not know what our family would do right now without all of your support and care, so that we can continue to figure out what is going to work for us as we move forward.  I am truly eating us out of house and home right now – but this is exactly what I need to be doing in order to figure out what is going to work for my body’s particular needs.

The next step is for me to have another meeting with my nutritional counselor, probably early next week, in order to “fine tune” my nutritional needs, figure out exactly why “gluten-free” is going to be so important for me, iron out my supplements now that we know I am not going to be having chemotherapy or radiation, and try to figure out whether going totally animal-free in terms of protein will be important – or not.

It’s a lot to deal with, no doubt.  

Now that everyone knows my “prognosis” it feels very much like everyone thinks “well, that’s the end of that.”  How untrue, from my perspective.  It is only just beginning now that my surgery is over.


A Big First Outing at UVA  Women’s B-Ball Game!

Here I am at  UVA’s Women’s game vs. Clemson!  Score is 29-23 right now with UVA up by 3 with 45 seconds to go in the first half. Here’s a picture of me and Hannah:    Here’s a picture of me and Marshall, taken by our favorite daughter, Hannah!    I can’t even begin to tell you just how wonderful it is to be here with my whole family.  When I first sat down in my seat, my own tears surprised me, and I realized I couldn’t see the court for my eyes. It is amazing how I can be […]

Hard to Believe – I am HOME! And I am very grateful to be here.

I am really, truly, here at home! I got home at about 4:00 p.m. yesterday (Valentine’s Day) afternoon. This is just going to be a quick show of some of what I’ve experienced since I’ve been home and at the hospital, but mostly I want you to know that I am actually typing this myself at about 11:30 p.m. tonight – Monday. (I know, I should be asleep in bed – that is my next stop, I promise!)  Here’s what some of today looked like for me: Hannah helped me with my Elf Hair today.  Good thing we’d had a […]

Blogging During Brain Cancer Surgery – Feb. 11, 2016

Surgery Day, Feb. 11, 2016 Twitter tag: #brainsurgerylive #brainsurgerylive Redefining courage. Awake and sharing during brain surgery. — Nick Stone (@NickStoneSEO) February 11, 2016   5:44 AM [pullquote align=”full” cite=”Fran Cannon Slayton, morning of surgery” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]I woke up with the song “She blinded me with science” by Thomas Dolby on my mind. [/pullquote] I woke up with the song “She blinded me with science” by Thomas Dolby on my mind. I thought I might start shouting “science!” during my surgery, thinking it was funny. Those of you who went to high school and college with me […]

The Belly of the Whale

This is not the “dark night of the soul” for me that John of the Cross speaks of.   I think I have been through such a dark night earlier in life, where I felt like Job on his dung heap, railing against the unfairness of the Universe and muttering against the things we humans must bear during the course of our lifetimes.   This experience is not that for me. This feels more like heading into the belly of the whale. It hit me yesterday, after a very long – over four hour – series of meetings at the […]

Healing in My Brain, Healing in Our World

I’ve explained before how I’ve decided to not engage in “battle” and “fight” metaphors with regard to my brain tumor, and instead choose “healing” and “wholeness” as themes in my unexpected journey dealing with brain cancer. I can’t afford to spend time and energy fighting a part of myself that needs to be healed.  The very definition of wholeness means that nothing can be excluded or marginalized.  Nothing is to be rejected or dismissed.  Everything must be included, accepted and loved for what it is – brokenness, sickness, warts, and all.  As one of my favorite spiritual writers, Richard Rohr, […]

A Tough Day: Functional MRI

I won’t sugar coat it: today was a rough day. I went to UVA this morning to get my functional MRI.  I knew it wasn’t going to be a cake walk since I am a little claustrophobic, but I had some good strategies lined up to help me with that, including closing my eyes during a large chunk of it, and centering prayer.   I also knew the MRI would be hard on my body since I’d be laying in a tight tube for a couple of hours without being able to move.  That would translate into big-time muscle tension […]

I, Legolas: On Compassion and Being Transformed into an Elf

A week or so before my diagnosis, our family had a Lord of the Rings movies marathon.  Hannah LOVED watching them! I’ll circle back around to that in a minute.  But first, let me remind you about this straight hair of mine that I’ve that I’ve battled all my life.  It grows straight into my face.  I’ve never liked wearing it down, unless it was permed or otherwise made to look messy. Well, Hannah thinks my straight hair looks Elven.  Lord-of-the-Rings kind of Elven. So the other morning before school, we made a date for her to “do” my hair […]

My Surgery Date is Set

We have a date for my brain surgery: Thursday, February 11, 2016. Right now, the place marker time for surgery is 5:30 a.m., but they will call me with the actual time the night before. I am fairly certain it will be in the morning, though. I will let you know the exact time when I find out on the 10th – please watch this spot for details! Please continue to hold me and my medical team in your prayers. The only way through this for me is grace – to let myself be carried, completely, by others. It is […]

The Morning Person I Always Wanted to Be

Since my initial trip to the emergency room two weeks ago yesterday, I have been waking up and beginning my day at 4 or 5:00 in the morning.  This is SO not me.  I have always been a late sleeper – mornings have been an epic struggle ever since I was a teenager.  I am a natural night owl, and happily so. And yet, many times in my life I’ve wished to be a morning person.  It just seems so psychologically and spiritually healthy to start out the day by taking time to become recollected, meditative, and mindful – instead […]

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